Sunday, January 31, 2010

Resolving Interpersonal Conflict

Interpersonal conflict is often tied with effective communication and it is often the latter that helps resolves the former. Conflicts are common as it can happen at almost all levels of communication. But conflicts are critical and how you solve them depend on how one handles them. There are a number of ways interpersonal conflicts can be handled and they all depend on how people handle them. The following are certain common methods people use to resolve conflicts which are unhealthy and as you will be able to see, do not include effective communication at all between both parties.

- Avoid or Denying the existence of the conflict :
This is very common but not effective as the disagreement lingers and it therefore allows for more opportunity for further conflicts and tension.

- Playing the blame game:
Putting the blame on others will only increase the defensiveness that people will have for each other and will do nothing to resolve the conflict

- Manipulate
By manipulating the other party, it appears the former may be compromosing but this isn't good as it will compromise trust between both the parties.

To resolve an interpersonal conflict EQ must be put in play here. Both parties have to set their minds on resolving the conflict in such a way that both parties feel like they won. Each person must participate actively in the resolution and make an effort and commitment to find answers which are as fair as possible to both. This is an easy principle to understand, but it is often difficult to put into practice. SO now comes the question.... how do we use effective communication to resolve a conflict?

1) listen to the person and what he has to say and if its the truth, agree with it so as to find a way to get to the problem and solve it. Practice empathy, whereby you put yourself in the shoes of the other person. Gently probe the other person as well to find out what they really are feeling and to show them that you are open to what they have to say. By doing this people will alos see that you are willing to listen to their viewpoint and not joust consider your own viewpoint or stance.Find positive things to say about the person and show a respectful attitude. Thus this goes to show that effective communication is tied to one's EQ.

For example, given a situation whereby Mary and Jane had a conflict and because of that you can always hear the crickets when they come have dinner with you. It could be possible that both were not sensitive to each other feelings and did not put themselves in the other person's shoes and therefore the conflict could have happened. Now I put to my readers... what do you think they or even I should do to help them come to talking terms again? =)

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Why and what makes Effective Communication ???

Have you ever wondered why you never got called after your first date with that hot chick/dude you desperately wanted to get to know ? Or did your boss just gave you the 'blur' look after you just finished explaining to him what seemed to be an entire 'essay' of your work? Are things not really working out for you at home all cause people say you haven't been listening?

Well.... if these things have been happening to you, chances are you haven't been communicating effectively!!! Do you know a majority of problems faced by individuals of today is because of their inability to communicate effectively. And communication isn't about just listening and making sure ' you talk properly'. It involves a large variety of factors and is a skill itself that takes a long time to master.

Sometimes such skills are mastered by experience but since we are all going out to the working world one day, being able to communicate effectively takes major significance in our lives - and helps ease the process especially when we transit to the working world whereby a large majority of how effectively you perform depends on your communication skills.

A lot of people feel that communication is about practice.... "That practice makes perfect". Sadly thats not the case cause english is neither a science (as mentioned by Mr Brady in class ;) ) nor is it math. Communication is an art form which can be mastered like all other art forms. And like other art forms it enables one to master it in his/her's own way and preference. That is why there are so many variety of artforms, and thus a variety of communication methods as well.

Whichever way you choose to express yourself through communication there are three ways by which you can improve yourself. Cause in art, though it has no rules, it does give people the space to find and improve themselves so that they become masters in their own field.

Firstly observe people's reactions to whatever you have communicated with them. Usually thats a very good indicator of whether your just said something that was meant to create the result you wanted. Secondly, observe yourself!!!! Give yourself a minute to detach yourself and observe your own words and actions. Reflect on them. It is through refection that many find their faults. Accept when you go wrong and take action to overcome that. Hehe! That may include taking a course in your school called Professional Communication! hint hint! ;)

When you bother taking the following actions, you will realise the potential you have in persuading, charming and smiling your way through even the tighest of spots! Who knows! Maybe one day you might even cause a sensation in a room full of people with just your speech!