Being in an intercultural society like Singapore, there are bound to be differences in intercultural language, communication and behaviour. No doubt that culture is tied very much to people's behaviour, sometimes living in a society as diverse as Singapore can have its 'side effects'.
I remembered this one time when I had to go for an Indian funeral (North Indian) and I thought the dress code was only white and you had to give a packet of money as act of condolence. So i 'stupidly' went to prepare an envelope in white, wrote my friend's family name on it and gave it to the mother the minute I reached there. I still remembered the look she gave me - she literally stopped tearing, stared with eyes bulging at the envelope and started crying again! After that she avoided me throughout the funeral and I was thinking what did I do wrong? Later I realised, upon confiding with a friend that for North Indians, you only give them money during happy occasions! Argghhhh!
I couldn't stop slapping myself after that! But being in a sociey like Singapore, there are bound for such 'mishaps' to happen and I am sure you guys went thorugh something similar too. I guess to evaluate intercultural behaviour, we got to first talk and understand about other culture's norms and practices. Having freinds from different races and background help.
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Hi Varjeet,
ReplyDeleteI like your statement about how the diversity of Singapore can have its side-effects. It leads me to think about other side effects that diversity can bring about.
In fact, intercultural conflict can also occur in a family of different generations. Take for instance, in the Chinese culture, it is 'bad luck' to the recipient who receives clocks or shoes as birthday present. The older generations may take this cultural taboo seriously while the younger generations may not with higher education. It can be an insult and disrespect to the senior if he or she receives such present. Howvever, the junior may feel it is superstitious to uphold these practices.
Indeed, there is bountiful of cultural norms and practices in this world that we have to take note of to lessen the chances of involving ourselves in intercultural conflict.
Cheers,
Serene
I guess this was a careless and unintentional mistake on your part. The learning point would be to keep reminding ourselves the different cultural practices and at the same time to be sure to be sensitive of it. For the Chinese, when it comes to attending funerals, one has to wear dark clothes and not bright coloured clothes. We also do give money in envelopes to express condolence.
ReplyDeleteYou mentioned that “being in a society like Singapore, there are bound for such ‘mishaps’ to happen”. I do not really understand this. Do you mean in the sense that Singapore being a multi-racial country so there are more room to understanding the different cultural practices?
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ReplyDeleteYes Varjeet I know what you mean. This is almost the same as the Americans wear black at funerals while the Indians prefer white kind of scenario.
ReplyDeleteEven for weddings, most brides from the West wear white as this signifies purity. A concept I totally agree with, yet Indians consider it unauspicious to wear white at weddings.
Well I guess it is these kind of experiences that will teach us the different practices of the multicultured population in our country. We have to adjust right if we want to continue to enjoy the other benefits of multiculturalism? However, all in all other than these small slipups, I think living in a multicultural society makes life more interesting.
Cheers,
Divya
Hey Varjeet,
ReplyDeleteAfter reading your post, I wondered whether Tamils give money during funerals. I asked my mother about it, and she said that where she comes from (Sri Lanka), they do not give money as well. However, she also was quick to add that my father's side relatives do give money during funerals. Therefore, I also think that it differs from different countries, or even different families you come from.
Thanks for this description of your past experience, Varjeet. In a country like Singapore with so many different cultural groups, it would certainly be daunting to know what behavior fits on every occasion with every group.
ReplyDeleteI like Keerthani's comment, showing that differences can even appear between families within the same cultural group. Thats why it's important that we not overgeneralize and stereotype, even for members of the same group.